All parents want their children to grow up self-assured and skilled
But sometimes because of too much expectation,
your responses might be doing the exact opposite which make your children loose their self-confidence and motivation.
Here are common words which parents to use to their children and these words would destroy children’s self-esteem.
“That is easy for you!”
When your child with struggling with a job.
When you say, “That is easy, you can do it.”
You think, you are trying to motivate and encourage them.
But your children may think,
“Something must be wrong because it’s not easy to me ”
So your child feel discouraged and easy to give up.
Instead of tell them “that is easy”,
You could say “This can be a bit hard ”
Then if your children complete the task,
child thinks, “I did something hard.” and he (she) will be confident.
If even he (she)cannot figure it out, at least he (she) knows it was tough to begin with.
This approach helps children keep their encouragement and increases their feelings of self-respect.
“He can do it, so you can do it, too!”
You might think comparing children to others will make them work harder.
But actually, comparing your children with others give them stress
and make them lose their self-assured
Please do not compare them with others.
Instead of comparing with others,
Do compare their improvements based from their own past performance
And then once your children done something, please tell them,
“You can make a big progress !” “You did better than before!”
So children feel happy and their self motivation will be improved.
“Your answer is wrong”
When your child can not find the correct answer and answers wrongly,
please do not say
“your answer is incorrect (wrong)”
even the answer was wrong, try to find something good which your child has done.
If you told “your answer is wrong” to your children, they will deny themselves and think
” I’m useless ”
” I’m not clever enough…”
Once children begins to deny themselves, children’s ability won’t improve at that point.
Please praise something good point first and then guide them to find out correct answer by themselves!
All the words are commonly used when you talk to children.
but before you use these, please think by yourself first and try to change some to positive words.
children has unlimited potential, please do not block those because of careless few words.
Most of parents don’t realize these parenting responses weaken their children’s self-esteem.
Children are very sensitive on our words, so please be careful on what we say to them. Though we like them to become better, but if we are telling them the wrong words, it weaken their self esteem and becomes slow learner. So every time we encourage them, think of all the right words and tell them nicely.